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How to help your boyfriend understand your depression

If you are in a relationship with someone who has depression, you are likely struggling with a mix of emotions and hosts of questions. What's it really like to feel depressed? What can you do to help them through hard times? How will their symptoms and treatment impact your relationship? While every person's experience with depression is unique, here are a few things you can do to help your loved one and yourself.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Dr. Denney - Male Depression

Content:

Tips for Coping With Depression in a Relationship

One woman shares the story of how undiagnosed depression almost ended her relationship and how she finally got the help she needed. It was a crisp, fall Sunday when my boyfriend, B, surprised me with a gift card for a nearby boarding facility. He knew I had been missing horseback riding.

I had taken lessons from the age of 8, but stopped when the barn sold a few years prior. B had reached out to the barn manager and arranged for us to go out and meet some horses that were available for part-board which allows you to pay a monthly fee to ride the horse several times a week. I was incredibly excited. We drove out to the barn and met with the owner of several beautiful horses. It seemed like it was meant to be.

I spent the next few Sundays out at the barn getting to know Guinness and taking him on trail rides. I felt blissful. Several weeks went by, and on another Sunday, I was sitting in bed in the middle of the afternoon bingeing on Netflix. B came into the room and suggested I go out to the barn.

I wanted to lay in bed. B consoled me and assured me that everything was OK. That we all needed a day to lay in bed every now and then. For the next several months, I was miserable to be around.

B would never say it, but I knew I was. I was always fatigued, argumentative, hostile, and inattentive. I was failing as a partner, daughter, and friend. I bailed on plans in favor of staying inside and isolating myself from those closest to me. When our friends would come over for Sunday football, I was locked away in our room sleeping or watching mindless reality TV.

While I had never been an extrovert, this behavior was bizarre for me, and it started to cause serious trouble. I was accusatory and insecure. Breakups were threatened on several occasions. We had been together for three years at this point, though we had known each other for much longer.

It was becoming very apparent to B that something was wrong. I made an appointment with my doctor and explained how I had been feeling. He asked if I had any family history of depression. I did: My grandmother has a chemical imbalance that requires her to use medication. He suggested that my symptoms were depressive and perhaps seasonal , and prescribed me a low dose of a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor SSRI.

I was instantly torn between being relieved that there was an explanation for my recent behavior and ashamed that I was being diagnosed with a mental health condition and prescribed an antidepressant. I remember calling B and being embarrassed as I danced around the topic of the medication. I asked him how his day was going, asked what he wanted to do for dinner that evening — pretty much anything that would stall the inevitable conversation we were about to have.

Finally, I admitted that the doctor thought I had depression and prescribed me something. Instead, he did something far more powerful.

He accepted the diagnosis and encouraged me to listen to the doctor and take the medication. He reminded me that a mental health condition is no different than any other condition or injury. This is no different. I filled my prescription, and within weeks, we both noticed a significant change in my overall mood, outlook, and energy. My head felt clearer, I felt happier, and I was regretful for not seeking treatment sooner. This is my depression diagnosis story.

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How Depression Almost Broke My Relationship

Prevention is better than cure. Get in early and challenge the person about their behaviour. Be firm but not confrontational — argument is counter-productive. The PHQ9 questionnaire available online is a good first tool to see if someone might be depressed and help you get appropriate treatment.

Living with depression makes basically every aspect of life so much harder than it should be, including romantic relationships. You need support to lend a different perspective, help you see hope and possibility, and know that others love and care about you. That said, this can be a really intimidating conversation to have.

No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness or depression enters the equation. I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression. Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode during our relationship, my partner was at a loss. He had never dealt with this and wanted so badly to help, but had no idea what to do.

Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together

Mental illness, including depression , is something every person must face and manage in their own way. But it also impacts relationships with friends, family — and particularly partners. Those closest to someone living with depression can be a huge source of love, comfort, and support. But they can often feel enormous pressure. Couples face a higher chance of divorce when one or both partners has a mental health condition. A multinational study found a 12 percent increase in the prevalence of divorce. Rather, it comes from how they interact and communicate, and how both partners approach the symptoms of the illness. Both agree that communication, empathy, and understanding are the keys to having any successful relationship, and especially important when one or both partners are living with a mental illness. Karen and Julie both provided some excellent questions to help you and your partner get started on this long, challenging — but ultimately joyful and rewarding journey.

How to support a partner with depression

Understanding how depression affects your partner can be key to building a healthy, supportive relationship that cares for the mental wellbeing of both partners. Depression can cause people to withdraw, behave differently or become more irritable. Common symptoms include insomnia, feelings of worthlessness and loss of interest in activities. It can even lead to physical aches and pains.

As men, we like to think of ourselves as strong and in control of our emotions.

I have seen how it can take the joy, energy, and sense of purpose out of everyday life. I also know how hard it can be to support someone who is living with depression. Depression may look different from person to person, but at its core the illness often causes people to feel lonely, inadequate, and misunderstood.

Supporting a partner with depression

T here is no lightning-bolt moment when you realise you are losing your sense of self; just an absence. When you are caring for someone you love, your wants and needs are supplanted by theirs, because what you want, more than anything, is for them to be well. Looking after a partner with mental health problems — in my case, my husband Rob, who had chronic depression — is complicated.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Help a Depressed Friend or Partner

When you're in a relationship, whatever your partner deals with, you deal with. And vice versa. So if your partner is depressed , it's imperative that you know how to handle it in a healthy, helpful, and supportive way — for the sake of each partner's mental health. Watching your partner go through something difficult like depression can be tough on you both of you. You might not know what to do or say. And they might feel bad that they're "putting you through it.

Seven ways to cope with a depressed partner

It can be hard to be in a relationship with someone with depression. Also, depression can make someone more irritable, angry, or withdrawn. The symptoms of depression may lead to more arguments, frustration, or feelings of alienation. Although depression can be challenging, most people want to do what they can to help. If your partner has depression, here are some ways you can help her through it and maybe even strengthen your relationship in the process.

Nov 29, - What's it really like to feel depressed? What can you do to help them through hard times? How will their symptoms and treatment impact your.

Being in a romantic relationship when one or both of you suffer from depression is a massive challenge. Depression can make your partner seem distant. None of that means your relationship is the problem. You two can tackle this together. We can give you some tips and suggestions, but only you and your partner can decide your boundaries, your compromises, and what you can handle.

One woman shares the story of how undiagnosed depression almost ended her relationship and how she finally got the help she needed. It was a crisp, fall Sunday when my boyfriend, B, surprised me with a gift card for a nearby boarding facility. He knew I had been missing horseback riding.

Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s, and we recently moved in together after being in a long-distance relationship for four years.

Standing on the sidelines when a partner battles depression can feel like a helpless experience.

Many people find themselves supporting a partner with depression at some point in their lives. The support of family and friends can play an important role in the treatment of mental health conditions. Depression is a condition that affects around 16 million adults in the United States each year. Depression can take its toll on relationships and may cause loved ones to feel helpless, frustrated, or fearful.

When your spouse has depression , you might be very worried, and feel utterly helpless. After all, depression is a stubborn, difficult illness. Your partner might seem detached or deeply sad. They might seem hopeless and have a hard time getting out of bed. They might be irritable with a swiftly shrinking fuse. They might be tired all the time and say really negative things about everything.

I suffer from depression myself and I know how tough it can be. But I want to talk to the partners - the people living with the people who are living with depression. It can make them say and do things that you just don't understand. I spent three years talking to more than people about their experiences with love, sex, and depression for my book, The Monster Under The Bed.

Comments: 4
  1. Maujin

    Other variant is possible also

  2. Gamuro

    Something so does not leave anything

  3. Malazuru

    It is simply excellent idea

  4. Tojamuro

    In it something is. Thanks for an explanation, I too consider, that the easier the better …

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