When a guy friend needs space
No one likes to hear this sentence: "I think you're great, but I just need some space. Chances are if you've had a guy tell you that, you now have NO idea how to act around him. Hopefully, these steps will help you. Give him space! You know the saying that says, "Be careful what you wish for"?SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: What To Do When He Says He Needs Space
- How to Make Space for Happiness: Fire Your Friends
- What To Do When He Says He Needs Space
- How to Act When A Guy Says He Needs Space
- What to Do When He Says He Needs Space
- When a Guy Needs Space
- Here’s Exactly What To Do When He Says He Needs Space
- 15 Tips On How To Give Him Space And Make Him Miss You
- The One Perfect Thing to Say When a Man Says He Needs “Space”
How to Make Space for Happiness: Fire Your Friends
This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own! Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia. I believe my boyfriend of almost 7 years we are both 25 almost 26 is showing signs of depression. This time last year he broke up with me out of the blue for 3 months and couldn't really say why.
When we got back together he still couldn't give me answers but said he was miserable without me and it was a mistake. I should point out that he lost his dad when he was 22 and that was only a few years ago. This is the time of year his dad started to get ill as well. He said it is nothing to do with that though. We have been back together since January and are now approaching the time of year that this happened last year and he has told me is is feeling very down all the time and doesn't know why.
He is ashamed of the way he feels and doesn't know what to do about it. I have suggested seeing a doctor but he refuses. He said he just wants to get away from everything, it's like the smallest things put him under pressure that he can't cope with.
He has asked me for a few days space to get his head straight and feels he can't do that around me as he feels he owes me answers and can't give me any. He said that he knows I will think he is going to breakup with me again but has said he isn't he just needs to be away from any sort of pressure.
I will of course do this for him, but I am finding it very hard to swallow. I love him dearly and would do anything to help him, but right now it's difficult to know what to do. I also have an underlying fear that he is going to break up with me again because he can't cope or perhaps he is stressing himself out about telling me because he knows I will be heartbroken.
I know he has told me he isn't planning on doing that, but I don't feel reassured. I am giving him space but is it normal for him to want to keep his distance from me for a few days? Or is he showing signs of breaking up with me again? He tells me he loves me and it's him not me, but that doesn't reassure me because I keep thinking he loves me but can't be with me. Please help - I will do anything to make this right for him.
I know I can't take the pain away but I want to save our relationship. It took me nearly 4 years to get my husband to admit he was depressed and be prepared to seek help. It's hard you don't want to push to hard neither let him go deeper into the depression.
My husband is over 60 therefore he found it more difficult to ask for help. I would advise that you give him the space he desires however let him know you will be there in a heartbeat if he wants or needs you. Have you thought about speaking to a relationship counselor. Either together or just you at first. Can I firstly suggest that you click onto 'Resources' at the top of this page and order 'All the Printed Material' from BB, it's all free, but it explains so much about any type of depression, and by reading this booklet maybe able to help you understand depression.
The loss of his dad may subconsciously be affecting him, even though he may deny it, because when someone passes away a few years ago they are told by other people 'that it happened and nothing can be done about it now, so you have to move on', well this may not be appropriate, and certainly not a sympathetic comment, so perhaps that why he does say anything. Depression is such a strong, powerful and strange illness, that makes people believe that they want to be by themselves, but in actual fact they don't want to leave and need the company, so I can understand what he says that he needs time to think, however a depressed person only thinks about all the negative thoughts that come to mind, when in company and when alone.
From what you have said is that I believe he does love you, so please it would help if you do order the information I suggested. L Geoff. He wanted to see me at the weekend and so we did, but then yesterday told me he needs a week by himself to get his head straight.
So I can't call, text or see him for a week. This is really hard for me but do you think that's the right thing for him? He said he loves me and so when he sees me he is reminded of that and he's so unhappy at the moment that he can't make me happy.
With depression, there are no plans and there's no predication what so ever he's going to do, but I'm certainly not saying that he won't come back to you, so please don't expect this. He has said for there to be no texts, no emails or call him, OK but that doesn't mean that he's not going to contact you, because love is also so strong, but when depression is involved it puts a smoke screen between the both of you, where you can see him, but can't reach him, but again it doesn't mean that you won't be able to reach him later on.
To explain to someone who has never had depression, is just so hard, because what or how we say about this illness doesn't register, it's too difficult that what it does is take the whole mind of the person away and leaves the body there, just an insect shedding it's skin, in other words all you are doing is just talking to the shedded skin and not the actual person.
I can't tell you if he will come back to you, but he says he loves you, and by saying this is a good sign. I'm going through the same situation with my boyfriend at the moment. Things are improving a little bit, so please have hope and faith in him, be patient, there are lots of chances that he will come back to you.
I had no news at all for 3 days, then just 1 text a day for a week just asking me how was my day going. After 10 days, he wanted to see me just for a movie. I was out so I couldn't see him, but at least it was a very positive sign that he was coming back a little bit to me. Then he started to text me few times per day. Texts are cold, but at least we are in contact. We'll finally go for a movie this weekend. All I want to say is, even though it is extremely difficult and heartbreaking, be patient and let him come back to you, he will.
What I do to survive to this storm is reading a lot about depression and I keep a dairy of his moods and how he is feeling. I report any information I have contact or not today? Like that I can easily assess if he's going better or not. That give me hope. Is it normal for someone suffering with depression to want to withdraw from me as much as he has?
He doesn't see or speak to me unless I initiate a conversation but even then he's very off with me. He has assured me his problem is nothing to do with me but it hurts so much that he can't see me or even speak to me. I will wait for him of course but having never experienced depression I wondered if it was normal for a man to withdraw from his partner so much?
I don't know whether I should really take him at his word and totally leave him, or whether to send him a text every couple of days just to remind him I'm here. It's impossible for him to try and explain how he feels, because basically he doesn't feel anything except being in a void. You can't do anything more than to believe what he says, and your decision to stay with him is only up to you, and if you want to, then text him every few days, but not every day.
It's so hard waiting and expecting him to get better, so it's another journey in life which you will ee whether or not you want to wait for him.
It's breaking my heart. He told me tonight he's feeling pretty awful about his life, feels like he has a cloud over him that he can't shift and that he just wants to be happy again. He's totally run down and barely sleeping and still hardly seeing me. I have mentioned getting help because he doesn't have to feel like this and his response now is 'I know' rather than dismissing it but he's asked me to stop saying it because it's frustrating and that he knows it.
He said he will be ok eventually and that its just a rough journey. He means the world to me and I just don't know what to do for him. What you have to remember is that when someone is suffering they actually want someone to be there for them, but then on the other hand they don't want to be with them, it's very confusing, so let me explain my situation.
I didn't want to leave my wife for any length of time, but I really loved it when she took our 2 sons away for the day, I knew she was there, but then she wasn't, but she was always there in the back ground. Now that he has decided he needs help, he will need some help to get him organised, and probably by you so you have to make the appointments for him to start with, and will need to go with him to see his doctor who will then set up a health plan where he can have 10 free visits to see a psychologist.
I know that he is going to see his doctor as you have said, but he has to get there and not decide not to go. From what you have said is seems as though he doesn't want to leave you, it's just this horrible illness telling him to say this. Jess I do appreciate what you're saying and maybe I'm just naive but I know this has nothing to do with our relationship.
For a start I know he would just tell me if that was the case as last year's breakup felt more that way than this one. He wouldn't do that to me he is a very kind person who I know wants the best for me in life. I truly believe the relationship has ended due to his depression whether diagnosed or not. He feels constantly sad all of the time, feels on the verge of tears, can't sleep and when he does wakes up very early in the morning and doesn't know how to make himself happy.
Last year ending things only made him worse and that's what both he and all of his family said. When I got in touch with him after the time apart because it was an important day to do so, he said I saved him from the misery he was going through. I know this is something he has to deal with himself but I want to wait for him. I have sent him a letter telling him how I feel about it all and how proud I am of him for admitting to suffering but don't know if I should now leave the contact to him.
He has ended it after all. What makes it harder is that I know he is going out a lot with friends while I am at home heartbroken. I know this is his way of not dealing with things but still makes it tough for me. Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones. You are currently: Home Seeking support Helping yourself and others Online forums. Welcome to the Healthy Families forums!
I don't know what to do. Cancel The title field is required! Kathryne Valued Contributor. Depends on the strengths the person can draw upon on how they will cope. Regards Kathryne. Please I'm not suggesting that it is said by you. Thanks for your advice He wanted to see me at the weekend and so we did, but then yesterday told me he needs a week by himself to get his head straight. He said he loves me and so when he sees me he is reminded of that and he's so unhappy at the moment that he can't make me happy I am so worried I am going to lose him again, please help.
Hello worriedgirlfriend1, I'm going through the same situation with my boyfriend at the moment.
What To Do When He Says He Needs Space
You should probably discuss how long this break should be and what rules there are. Sometimes guys just need time to work things out. It happens to the best of us. If he goes off the grid, just pull the plug and move on to someone better.
Now, listen carefully: what you do after he asks you for space is super important. When guys get upset, they like to go into their shell to get some perspective on the issue at hand. If you spend tons of time with someone but you fight all the time, no one would call that a great relationship. But if your schedules conspire so that you can only spend a little time with each other, but that time is amazing — anyone can see that you have a great relationship.
How to Act When A Guy Says He Needs Space
Everybody needs space. Some people need a lot, while others may need only a little. Although it may seem counterintuitive, giving a friendship some room to breath allows the relationship to remain healthy. Being able to ask for what you need is crucial to lasting friendships. Telling a friend you need some space can be tough, but by taking a subtle approach and being honest, you can do it without hurting them. For tips from our Friendship co-author on how to deal with arguments with friends when you ask for space, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No. Log in Facebook. No account yet?
What to Do When He Says He Needs Space
These six little words usually arrive out of the blue and plunge you into a world of confusion. In fact, there are four steps you can do right now, to bring him back. Before you put them into action, though, you need to take care of your own mindset. To do so, remember that:. The more you scramble for ideas to keep him there, agonise over what you did wrong and let paranoia run wild, the more he gains the upper hand in your mind.
The anxiety of a man needing space. It can make you feel blinded by fear of the worst. Unfortunately and fortunately, this dizzy time of worry and stress is so important for the future of your relationship with this man.
When a Guy Needs Space
Dating is a tricky business and can lead to a lot of feelings of confusion, uncertainty and frustration - especially during the early stages of the relationship. From going out on dates to just spending time chilling on the sofa with each other - it can be difficult to avoid getting caught up in the excitement of a new relationship and end up spending too much time together, leading to heightened moods on both parts. You can have too much of a good thing, after all. However, it might not be the worst case scenario, and he might just need a little space from you after spending so much time together.
FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. A friend says he needs a breather. Now what? Twofold question: 1 can this possibly be headed anywhere good? Snowflakes inside.
Here’s Exactly What To Do When He Says He Needs Space
Few things are as frightening or nerve-wracking as a man needing space. The way they process and experience things is different. Taking space is a natural coping mechanism for most men, just as seeking out support from friends and loved ones is a natural coping mechanism for most women. The number-one reason a man pulls away is that he is stressed. The source of his stress could be the result of some issue in the relationship, but it might not have anything to do with you at all.
Men are complicated creatures. They need constant attention, a lot of love, and they like to "hunt" the women they are interested in. Sometimes it is good to give a man what he wants: the opportunity to hunt you. Regardless of relationship status, we give you fifteen tips how to give space to the man you are interested in and how to make him miss you, whether it's a long-term relationship or an ex that you want to come back to you. You ask yourself should you give space to your partner in the relationship and try to figure out how to give space without breaking up with him.
15 Tips On How To Give Him Space And Make Him Miss You
It can hit you like a smack in the face with a wet fish, or you feel it coming gradually. Slowly at first but building momentum like a freight train. I need some space.
The One Perfect Thing to Say When a Man Says He Needs “Space”
Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Some men are afraid of commitment or of getting in too deep too fast. Instead, he wants to send you into a panic wondering if this is the beginning of the end or whether he really does need a break. When guys feel no progress, or they feel stuck, their first move is to step away.