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How to get a girlfriend to move out of your house

FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. How do I tactfully ask my girlfriend to move out? My girlfriend and I have been living together for about 4 months. She moved in to my house after about 6 months of hinting and hoping that we could live together. I asked her to move in because she was having some issues at her previous place not important.

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FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. How do I tactfully ask my girlfriend to move out? My girlfriend and I have been living together for about 4 months. She moved in to my house after about 6 months of hinting and hoping that we could live together. I asked her to move in because she was having some issues at her previous place not important. However, I have been really uncomfortable with us living together since the beginning.

It's not one specific thing but I'm the type of person that needs copious amounts of "alone time" to feel relaxed and maintain my insanity. She really doesn't understand this after many attempts at an explanation and gets frustrated that we don't spend all of our time together when we're home. It ends up that I spend my time with her hanging out on the couch or whatever and I end up feeling very stressed and anxious and "trapped".

I really wish I had the same freedom I did when I lived alone. I'd like to continue our relationship but with us living apart. I'd like to find a really tactful and diplomatic way of expressing my feelings to her that I don't want to live together anymore and I want her to move out it is my house that we live in currently. Unfortunately, she's very sensitive about feeling rejected and is a bit on the dramatic side… Any ideas on how I can approach this sensitive topic? Asking her to move out will end your relationship.

Doesn't sound like you are very compatible anyways. Well, it's possible it won't end the relationship. But that won't be determined by your clever way of asking her to move out. You sound like an archetypal introvert, and she is a very attention-craving person who thrives on time together.

Niether of these is wrong, but they are not very compatible. How long have you been together? Sounds like at least 10 months and probably much longer, which is usually "fish or cut bait" time for people in their early 30s. So, if this relationship continues and becomes more serious, you'll have to contemplate living with her at some point. Would it be better if you had 2 seperate bedrooms? Bottom line is, if she doesn't understand your need for "me time", and if you are stressed by the prospect of giving her lots of "together time", this just isn't going to work out.

In many ways, my relationship with my other half sounds similar to yours. If I try to go upstairs to my office to find stuff, she'll wander up there after about 20 minutes just to see what's going on.

Of course, you're not the first person to feel trapped in a relationship with someone who wants to spend all their time with you when you want some "me time". FWIW, I think everyone goes through that to begin with. I found a mini-solution in having a laptop so that while I'm physically with her on the couch, I'm in my own world of watching some downloaded TV or playing a computer game while she's watching her soap operas.

But then I have a personal repulsion thing with soap operas - I can't stand to hear the dialogue of soap operas, otherwise I'll get trapped. But I have to echo the above. If you ask her to move out, she's going to take that as a rejection of her and the relationship.

Presumably to her, a relationship involves living together and being together where possible. If you can't accomodate that to some extent, and it's gotten to the point where you have to ask her to move out, then you'll just have to ask yourself which is more important.

Your girlfriend or your "me time". Me giving relationship advice? What's happened in this crazee world?! If you can't create the boundaries that let you feel 'free' while living together then the relationship doesn't look very hopeful.

Anyway, it seems like explaining the problem to her will help more than asking her to move out. She might have alternate solutions that don't cause major logistical and emotional problems for her. There is no "trick" to this.

If you're in your 30's, you're old enough to have an adult conversation about your relationship. I would suggest, however, that you broach the subject in the context of changing your relationship dynamic, not asking her to leave. If you're unwilling to change and make compromises, you're just not going to ever have a long-term relationship with anyone remotely interesting.

Unfortunately, she's very sensitive about feeling rejected and is a bit on the dramatic side… Everyone is sensitive about being rejected. And "dramatic" is a weak excuse- it's the modern-day equivalent of calling women "hysterical" because they express emotion.

If you can't get her to understand your need for alone time in the current situation then you're not going to get her to understand it with this new request. I have the same issue, and to some extent I have reconciled myself to it being a lifetime annoyance, like being prone to hangnails or UTIs.

People who don't need that time are often unable - or sometimes unwilling - to understand. In fairness to them, we're a smaller segment of the population so it's less intuitive to them. You simply need to be up-front and firm about it, while recognizing that anyone prone to feeling at all rejected is going to feel like you're pushing them away. They don't understand the need, so they interpret it as if it was their own request and something they'd do because they didn't want to be around someone, not because of a separate competing need.

Figure out a way you can get what you need, present it, and be resolute. Maybe an office space that's your sanctum. Maybe it's going to have to be out of the house - that's her home now too, after all. I find that whenever this comes up as an issue between my darling girlfriend and myself it's because I've failed to make that time for myself for a while and she's fallen out of the habit of seeing it as something I Need. Everyone has to make some effort to look after themselves and you're going to have to as well.

You may as well attempt to fix this now rather than booting her out since you are going to have to find a way to cope with this in your life.

For me, this situation would be a deal-breaker. I'm like you seemingly in that I need time to myself to recharge. When I was in relationships, if the other person didn't understand this, it never could last. Fortunately, I met someone as introverted as me, and they give me time to myself when I need it. As such, from my personal experience, asking her to move out probably will lead to the end of the relationship.

That said, if you still wanted to try to pull it off, first I'd try to figure out a compromise that wouldn't involve her moving out.

Separate bedrooms might work, the couch-laptop idea might work, or maybe just tell her you need some time to yourself every day or every week.

To try to make it work, try to find solutions that you'll both be comfortable with. I was once in the same position as you and I couched it as, "I need some time to myself. It's not that I don't like spending time with you, but I also like being on my own and would like more of an opportunity to do that. We were living together and I tried what you're thinking of, he didn't take it well and I backed down. All the togetherness eventually overwhelmed me and I broke up with him.

In the end, I don't think her moving out will solve too much. If you want to continue a relationship presumably in the direction of a marriage, eventually you're going to end up in the same house again with the same situation.

Finding a way to peacefully co-exist in the same place right now may be a better solution if you'd like to keep your relationship. When we lived in a 1BR apartment it was hell and he spent alot of time at work to get his alone time. At that point, he was thinking the same way you are The key was talking about the issue and realizing it meant that we each had to have an office in the house where we could retreat.

So yea, you need to tell her what you need and go from there. You don't have to jump right to "you have to move out" unless she is unable to give you the space you need. What phearlez said - if you don't learn to establish your own boundaries and take care of your own needs, it won't matter if your girlfriend is physically present or not, because the issue will resurface later.

Your question makes me really really glad my boyfriend didn't move in when I wanted him to. I see alot of men outside in the garage or parking lots, or bars alone at night because they need to get away. I was married 20 years and we were both introverts, even took seperate vacations, had seperate rooms.

But when we were together it was fun, the sex was good For a few years we worked different shifts. Finally even with all the love and years together we just got sick of each other : and divorced.

It's hard to live with anyone for years and years. Your girlfriend I'd bet on it probably is thinking marriage and children already. Try this. Tell her you love her but need time alone because you have this type of personality blah blah blah and then encourage her to take up some hobbies, work overtime, volunteer, something.

BTW soap operas- red flag. Good luck. I can't imagine asking her to move out won't end your relationship. If you can't live with someone, where exactly is your relationship leading anyway? Is it possible that she feels she has to hang around you?

When I started dating my very extroverted partner he always followed me whenever I went off alone since he thought I expected him to come with me so we'd have "alone time". I explained to him that I'm introverted and I need time to myself to recouperate from the somewhat draining experience of being around people so it was OK when he went off and did his own thing.

Explain to your girlfriend the same thing, and emphasize that you love her and because you love her and want to keep the relationship going you need to be away from people sometimes not just her. It helps that we have roommates--it means when I go off alone he still has people to hang out with. But he's also cool going out without me.

How to Break Up with Your Live-In Partner in the Least Torturous Way Possible

Once a relationship has progressed, you and your girlfriend may decide that it is a good idea to move in together. It is typically much cheaper to live with your partner rather than maintain separate households. You save money on rent, utilities, gas, and even food. In some cases, she might agree that things are over and readily move out. Other times, you might have to reason with her, be very clear that the relationship is over, or even use legal methods.

How, Though? The only thing worse than having to re-enter the dating world is having to re-enter the world of apartment hunting at the same time. Breaking up with a partner you live with or having them break up with you usually means finding yourself in that exact predicament.

As we all know, breaking up is hard to do. For the average person, it's the only time in our lives when we deliberately say something that makes someone else cry. It's awful. It's horrible. It's inhuman.






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