Looking for a good boyfriend
Maybe you're lucky enough to be in a great relationship with a woman you love, or perhaps you're planning for the bliss of partnered life some time in the near future. But how do you go from being a bumbling, ordinary guy to a dream boyfriend that women brag about? Start here! Active listening is a skill.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Big Time Rush - Boyfriend (Official Music Video) ft. Snoop Dogg
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: If A Man Has These 15 Qualities, Never Let Him GoContent:
- Top 10 Traits Of A Great Boyfriend
- How to Find a Good Boyfriend: 8 Uncommon Tips for Attracting an Amazing Man
- Find a boyfriend: 15 tips from professional matchmakers
- If Your Boyfriend Possesses These 16 Traits, Never Ever Let Him Go
- Men With These 10 Personality Traits Make The Best Boyfriends
- 21 Things To Look For In A Boyfriend
Top 10 Traits Of A Great Boyfriend
It's not always an easy task! Consequently, many singles are enlisting the help of professional cupids whose business is bringing together compatible couples. Today's matchmakers work hard for their money—and they demand a lot of it. Prices for these pros run steep, and only a select few singles are affluent enough to afford the service. But you get what you pay for, and matchmakers are selective about their clientele, finding them via referrals as well as by scouring cocktail parties, political fundraising events and charity balls.
Then comes an extensive one-on-one interview and background check. I become a friend to my clients," says New York-based matchmaker Barbra Brooks. After each arranged date, I interview both people for feedback, which I pass on—diplomatically, of course. No need to be wistful, though, if you can't afford to hire a matchmaker of this caliber. We've asked Brooks and three other exclusive matchmakers for their best tips on how to find love.
Here's what they have to say:. Be realistic. Men can sense right away if you're out for their wallet, not their personality. Be a hot mama, not a prospective mama. Kelleher, whose service has brought together about 6, marriages in 19 years, adds, "He's thinking, 'Whoa—I don't even know your middle name, and I already know the colors you want to paint your kid's nursery.
Make dating a priority. Janis Spindel, the self-described "cupid in a Chanel suit" and president of the New York-based Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking service, suggests that clients approach finding the right man as they would a job hunt. The key is to always be prepared because you never know when or where you'll meet someone.
Wear clothes that make you feel attractive and plan ahead for interesting conversation. You might meet someone at the newsstand. Nix the ex talk. On the first few dates, Brooks advises her clients to excise the desire to tell the new man all about the previous boyfriend.
If your ex was fabulous, your date will feel he can't measure up. But if you bash your ex too much, your date could think, Whoops—she might be talking about me that way in a few months! Similarly, you should be wary of a man who can't stop talking about his former paramour. If he's still hung up on her, his heart has no room for you.
Neurotics needn't apply. You both need to be emotionally healthy to forge a successful relationship, says Neil Clark Warren, Ph.
For instance, it's not a good sign if you're in the relationship primarily because you're frightened of being alone.
It's equally bad if your guy looks as longingly at the gin bottle as he does at you. Or if he's morbidly depressed. Don't fall into the codependent trap and think you can "heal" him. It's smarter to look for a man who doesn't need healing. Mind your manners. Men are understandably appalled when their bright, attractive, funny date suddenly does something tacky like ripping a piece of bread in half and putting the other half back in the bread basket or applying lipstick at the table.
Don't ask him too many questions about his job. He'll think you're a gold digger. Similarity breeds success.
But when you're getting to know someone, ask yourself if you and he have the same core values," says Warren, also the author of Date And think really hard if your major life goals mix well. Both of you need to agree on the merits or disadvantages of marriage, making babies and whether to aspire to living in a tree house or a penthouse.
These are things that you can start finding out in as little as a date or two. Present a challenge. She points out that "three dates do not a relationship make. But don't build your social life around him for example, keep your Friday night theater subscription with your friend Beth and don't press him to talk about his "feelings.
This is all subject to change after you have been dating awhile and the relationship has become more serious. Don't be a babbling brook. Sure, you've got a host of charming stories, but save some for the second date.
Women should pace themselves and think of about two to three great stories to tell on their date. But don't go overboard talking about yourself! Sunny side up. Be a girl. Leave your professional persona at the office. Let him. In other words: It's a date, not a boxing match. Look beyond his good looks. Don't be dazzled by a handsome face and buff bod.
Is this guy worthy of winning your heart? How does he treat his mother? How does he get along with siblings, cousins and friends?
If the answer to those questions is not too well, take heed. Once he is confident of your affections, he might revert to type and treat you like everyone else he "cares" about. Be mindful of that ole black magic. At first glance you felt more of an urge to hold his hand than jump his bones? That's not a terrible sign: Physical attraction can deepen as you really get to know and trust each other.
But there must be an ember of initial attraction to build from. Without any chemistry, Warren says, you're better off as friends. Hold out before having sex. Spindel is adamant that you should forego sex at least for a little while. The matchmaker feels that until your guy is ready to commit at least part of his soul, you're better off not committing your entire body.
Her rationale: "Ideally you should wait until you've had the discussion about not seeing other people. That way you're sure he's operating more out of love than lust.
Go with the flow. The real key to making it as a couple, says Warren, is that both people are willing to compromise. If one or both partners must always have their way and are threatened by even small changes, trouble will soon be brewing. For example, if he suddenly has to work late on a night you were hoping to cook him dinner, be understanding of his need to be flexible and have him come over for coffee instead of the main course. Of course, he should be really sorry for the change in plans and should want to make it up to you.
Sherry Amantenstein is a contributing writer for iVillage. Follow today.
How to Find a Good Boyfriend: 8 Uncommon Tips for Attracting an Amazing Man
A few disclaimers: yes, I'm aware that this list is pretty much the grossest to anyone who hate-clicked on it. I'm also aware that it is super heteronormative — we have an article about " little ways you know you have a good girlfriend " as well, for what it's worth. Additionally, most of the items on this list are just things that make you a good partner, period. I think that many of the traits that we say distinguish a good boyfriend or partner, or man, or whichever word you prefer are often considered "normal" traits in a woman. All that said, I also don't think that doesn't mean the boyfriends out there who are doing it right don't deserve to be called out for being awesome.
Dearest Evan, Wow! Thanks for helping me grow! I relate it to a Jennifer Aniston Syndrome. She had Brad Pitt, so where could she go from there? She found someone funnier, taller, cooler, younger, etc.
Find a boyfriend: 15 tips from professional matchmakers
Regardless of his height, he is comfortable with the way he looks around you. He genuinely makes you laugh because he is funny, not because you think he is attractive and want to flatter him , and not a self-conscious little giggle, either. He remembers little things about you, even things that other people might consider unimportant or too minor. He knows what your favorite dish at the Thai place is. He knows what movie you two watched on your first date. Whether or not he has the same taste in music or movies as you, he is always willing to try something new that you really like, or that neither of you have seen before. His family is not perfect, because no one is, but they try their best and are good people and you feel comfortable around them. Regardless of the problems you may encounter, being betrayed like is simply not a possibility.
If Your Boyfriend Possesses These 16 Traits, Never Ever Let Him Go
In order to be truly honest with you, though, he should feel comfortable telling you his real thoughts or, if not, he should be able to push past the discomfort for the sake of your relationship. During the early days of a relationship, he might guard you from certain aspects of his personality, so pay close attention to his interactions with others—particularly waitstaff, subordinates, and strangers. Get a haircut? Feeling worn out after a long day at work? As soon as he sees you, he knows.
Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love. By now you've probably noticed that looking for a good partner doesn't really work. Search all you want, the more you claw through masses of potential suitors, the more you find poor match after poor match.
Men With These 10 Personality Traits Make The Best Boyfriends
It's not always an easy task! Consequently, many singles are enlisting the help of professional cupids whose business is bringing together compatible couples. Today's matchmakers work hard for their money—and they demand a lot of it.
Don't even think about getting married before you check this list! It's exciting to find a man who's ready to stop playing dating games and start focusing on what one woman — you — have to offer in relationships, but before you even consider committing to him as "boyfriend and girlfriend", let alone think seriously about getting married and making him your husband, it's critical to know which personality traits to look for as signs that he will actually be a good boyfriend and, potentially, a good husband. You can use this "checklist" of sorts as a guide to understanding what you should look for when it comes to deciding whether or not a man is worthy of you or an investment of your time. This trait separates the men from the boys. All you ever want is for a man to say what he means and mean what he says.
21 Things To Look For In A Boyfriend
I know what I need. I know myself better than anyone else and I know what makes me happy. Maybe I should just cut the outside interference and just focus on doing what I know keeps me fulfilled and satisfied. When I try to find a man who can do the same, I just end up frustrated. I treat myself well.
Yes, good men are hard to find! The smartest way to find a good boyfriend is to start with yourself. Get emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy by looking inward and upward!
I understand. And the more you want it, the more desperate you can get in wanting a boyfriend. The more desperate you are…well…the less likely you are to attract a man.